The result of the 2016 Psychometrician Board Exam Passers proved to be something I have not truly earned and deserved on my own. The journey and outcome of this ordeal undeniably seemed surreal even as I publish this. I almost did not push through with this board exam. I was constantly torn between abandoning the ship and trusting the Shepherd. Logic would tell me one thing, yet faith would tell me another. Looking back, I thought that I would want to share some of my journey’s highlights and my musings about them. Here are three among many:
1.) When God purposed, He delivers.
I was in constant fear and anxiety all throughout the experience because God seemed to always answer just in time. Being an obsessive planner, I found this frustrating because I always wanted to have things settled as soon as possible. I was trying to slowly fade out from my commitment in taking the board exams by missing out on almost half of the entire classes I had to attend in my review center, breaking off with the group study squad I had been part of, and neglecting my self-study duties in finishing at least an entire book per subject.
By God’s grace, He provided me the comfort by visibly showing how He is moving through keeping up with His promises and sending people along the way to grow with me in this journey. In retrospect, I was glad I eventually paid attention because it has increased my faith as He led me to truly witness how He works in the lives of His people. He truly is a God Whose power do not entirely or significantly depend on us because when He purposes, He truly delivers. If I had not followed His leading as He blessed every step despite the uncertainties, I would have missed out grasping the reality that He truly delivers according to His purposes.
2.) When we honor God in the process, He ultimately gets the glory.
If there is one thing I learned in my past trials, it was to live uncompromisingly with my values. The preparation stage of every goal usually demands from us according to the goal that we have set in mind. The usually logical thing for me to do in the past was to labor extensively and have God understand that the results are all for Him. However, as with this journey, He taught me that how I spend my days at present determine where my treasures truly are.
So instead of setting aside my values in life, I took a leap of faith for the first time in my life to continue on seeking God first through attending bible studies and church services, never neglecting my devotion time with Him, and attending to the needs of the valuable people He’s entrusted me in my life. This has not been an easy task for me at first because there was usually a resistance within me to abandon these for a while and just go back after all has been done. However, I also realized that when my life is at its busiest, what I put first determine which I am truly after.
I realized that how I live my life for God now reveals how I would live my life for Him throughout this lifetime because it will only get busier and tougher from here. Choosing Him consistently at present is the best decision I have ever done. Through putting Him and His entrusted people to me first before my ambitions, I was able to clear it out with myself Whose glory it is going to be ultimately be as I submit to His will and design. When one honors God in the process, He truly ultimately gets the glory.
3.) Where there is a blessing, there is a responsibility.
It was almost midnight of September 5, 2016 when the results were released by the Professional Regulation Commission (PRC). As I saw my name as one of the passers, I couldn’t help but feel misplaced among list of fellow passers who had rigorously committed all of themselves to prepare for the board exam. This is because I admittedly just lacked the effort, focus, and passion to pass it. I never had the confidence to claim fully and consistently that I could make it, because I knew myself and my preparations (or the extreme lack of it) too well to say that it would just be humanly impossible to make it. But I knew then that if this is going to be something God is going to bless me with, I would definitely have to be responsible and accountable to Him about it.
When all has been said and done, and the results have been both a source of joy and sorrow for the test takers, I realized that what would matter more are the days that come after the board examination period. Whether one passes or fails would only signal to a better direction which God had prepared in advance for us to accomplish. Realizing that the real battle starts after this entire board examination journey only led me to know that every blessing has a corresponding responsibility to which I need to live up to. As for me, only by connecting to Him as my Source, would I be able to perform and manage according to His provision and purpose, which will in turn point my endeavors’s results back to Whom they are truly due. At the end of this experience, I can therefore conclude that truly, the best is yet to come!